Fragile Heart
by James' Lily Flower
Summary: Two years after finishing Hogwarts, Lily sees James and they have a one night stand. Shortly after Lily discovers James is already engaged and has the biggest shock of her life. M to be safe. COMPLETE.
1. Prolouge

**Disclaimer: HP is owned by the wonderful JKR. All for my amusement, no profit:(**

**Fragile Heart**

**Prologue**

A warm body next to his, soft hair against his cheek, rhythmic breathing within his arms, a slender hand pressed to his chest. James Potter yawned as he opened his eyes. Haze rushed over his hazel eyes as he lay in unfamiliar crimson bedsheets. He sighed contentedly as he looked at the beautiful redhead sleeping deeply next to him. She truly was amazing. His closed his eyes as memories of the previous evening filled his head.

* * *

_James stood, pushing papers into his briefcase. "James?!" an incredulous voice asked. _

_He turned, "Lily! Hey!" he smiled warmly. "Fancy seeing you here in the office," he said. The office was a large room where ten of the younger aurors had desks to do paperwork. _

_"I just got transferred, they thought I'd be more use here," Lily smiled. _

_James nodded, so he'd be working with Lily here from now on, "well, I can certainly use your smile to brighten up my day."_

_She grinned again, looking at him, "say we could do with a catch-up and you can tell me about the sort of cases you normally do in this section, how about you come round to mine for a bit? We could grab a takeaway on the way home."_

_He nodded, his old feelings for her rising, "don't see why it would hurt," he agreed. _

_"Come on," she smiled once again, as she put on her scarf and jacket._

_They talked for hours, remembering school, about work, enjoying themselves immensely. _

_"You look so handsome tonight, James," she told him, stroking his cheek. _

_"And you, look bloody beautiful and sexy," he replied, kissing her palm. He raised an eyebrow seductively at her and she looked at him, shock flooding her face. _

_"James, it's been so long," she told him._

_"So long since what?" he said huskily._

_"Since you showed any interest," she clarified._

_"I haven't seen you, have I?" he reasoned, he was now looking at her deeply._

_"James, please don't look at me like that," she said._

_"Why not?" he said, his eyes dark with passionate want. _

_"It makes me feel uncomfortable," she said, lowering her gaze. _

_He lifted her chin and placed a chaste kiss on her slightly parted lips. She placed her arms around his neck and moved into his lap. She captured his lips with hers. The kiss was harsh and full of desire. Their passion coursed through their bodies as they kissed again and again. The kisses became deeper and their self control was all lost. Soon James' shirt was on the floor as his hands roamed round Lily's body, moving up her thighs. She moaned into his mouth, this was too good. _

_"You have a bed in this place of yours, Evans?" James asked, as he kissed her neck. _

_"Yes," she nodded, running her tongue playfully over his shoulder. _

_"C'mon, Lils, let's find it," he said, playing with her hair. _

_They made their way along the hallway, pushing each other against walls. As they moved closer to her bedroom they left a trail of discarded clothes. As they got to the door James was in only his boxers and Lily a lacy red bra and knickers. _

_They kissed as they undressed and in the late hours of that night James Potter finally made his high school dream come true as he made love to Lily Evans._

* * *

"James?" Lily asked, as she opened her eyes.

"Hey," he said, running his fingers over her smooth skin.

She smiled, "hi."

"You alright?" he asked, sweetly.

"Yeah," she said, running her fingers through his dark hair, "last night was amazing."

"Sure was," he agreed.

She stretched against him, "what day is it?"

"Saturday," he replied.

"Oh, good, at least there's no work," she laughed.

"Yeah," he said, taking her hand in his.

"Cause I'm really tired," she continued.

"Aw, babe, did I wear you out?" he asked, innocently.

"Just a little," she said, affection sweetening her voice.

"Did you enjoy yourself, though?" he said, pulling her naked body against his.

"Absolutely," she told him, "I've never had more fun in my life."

"Ah, yes, it's the Potter charm," he joked.

"Of course it is, James," she smirked.

He kissed her forehead, "I've gotta go," he said, sadly.

"What? James?" this wasn't how it was meant to be, she was supposed to fall back to sleep in his arms now while he watched her sleeping.

He detached himself from her embrace and retraced his steps from the previous evening to find his clothes. She pulled on a creamy white silk nightgown and followed him as he dressed.

Once he had collected his belongings, he opened the door and turned to leave. Lily stood on the doorstep and said quietly, "will it ever happen again? I mean, are we official now? A couple?"

He turned to look at her, "I don't think so and never mention this to anyone. See you at work, Lily."

"James? JAMES!" she yelled, as he walked off down the street.

* * *

**Like/ hate? Please review!!! **

**Love SG xoxo **

**(I am NOT planning on making this a dirty story! Okay?! I just had to have a dirty-ish opening scene. It should be more fluff for the rest of the story. Will eventually be very cute and romantic.)**


	2. Chapter 1: The Best Mistake I Ever Made

**Fragile Heart**

**Chapter 1**

**The Best Mistake I Ever Made**

The rest of the weekend passed quickly for Lily and James and soon enough they had to face each other again.

James pulled on his cloak and picked up his briefcase. He opened the front door. "Oh and James, if any colleagues of yours ask you to go out drinking, over their houses, to go for a meal, please kindly refrain. I do want you home tonight."

"Don't worry, sweetie," James said as his fiancée moved over to him, "I won't disappoint you, I'll be home as soon as I finish and not a minute later. Then you'll have me all to yourself."

Stella gave him a wicked smile and moved over to kiss him softly on the lips. "See you later, James."

"See you later, sweetie," he smiled, giving her another lingering kiss. "Have a good day."

"And you, James," she smirked.

James turned and apparated to the front of the ministry building. Charms had been recently placed on it to prevent apparition straight into the premises. So everyone apparated to a corner nearby and walked up to their office. As he walked through the front entrance, he saw Arthur Weasly, the tall, red-headed man who was married to James' distant cousin, Molly. James nodded to him as they passed, they were both far to occupied in their own thoughts to converse. James stepped into the elevator, the same one that his father was in.

"James," Mr Potter said in recognition.

"Dad," James nodded.

"James, your Mother wanted you and Stella to come round for dinner to discuss the wedding plans sometime this week," his father said.

"Yeah, I'll have to see what we're doing," James said wearily.

"Oh, come on James, you know how excited your Mother is about the wedding," Mr Potter said.

"I know, it's not that," James replied.

"What's up, Son?"

"Nothing, look I better get up to the office, I want to get done early so I can get home and do something romantic for Stella before she gets home," James said.

"Alright, see you soon, James," the two men smiled and parted to their offices.

James entered the office to find two women sitting there. Alice Longbottom was sitting chatting away to her closest friend, Lily Evans.

"Yeah, and so Frank said 'I think you could be,' and so I said 'well maybe I better go see a medwitch.' So here I am, going to see the medwitch in fifteen short minutes. Frank's meeting me there." Alice beamed happily, "Lils? Lily, are you listening?" she turned to find her audience otherwise occupied. "Oh," she said when she saw James had entered the room. "I was gonna tell you, Lils, honestly. I mean I thought leaving it as long as possible, would mean you wouldn't worry about it. But you needn't worry about James chasing you, he's engaged now." Alice looked at her watch, "well I better go, don't want to be late for my appointment." She bounded out the room, not noticing the temperature of the room rapidly decreasing.

"You have a fiancée?" Lily growled, danger lurking in her voice.

"Yeah," James nodded.

"I see," Lily snarled, "when in the 'Lily-I-love-you-and-I-want-to-make-passionate-love-to-you' incident DID YOU BOTHER TO MENTION YOU HAVE A FIANCÉE?"

"Lily, I never meant for us to go that far on Friday," he told her, running a hand irately through his hair.

"SO IT WAS JUST A MISTAKE?" she roared.

"No, don't call it that," James said, "and if was a mistake then it was the best mistake I ever made. I just didn't plan it."

"Do you regret letting it get that far?" she asked, breathing deeply as tears threatened to fall.

He moved over to her, lifting her chin so she was looking into his eyes. "Never," he said deeply and Lily knew he meant it.

"James, why?" she said, looking dejectedly at him. She looked like she was about to cry.

"Hey, babe, don't cry," he said, pulling her into his arms. He held her as she began to sob. "Why, what?" he breathed into her hair.

"Why did you have get engaged?" she whispered through her tears.

He stepped back from her embrace and sobbing form. "Do you know why, Lily?! I GOT ENGAGED BECAUSE I LOVE STELLA AND I WANT TO MARRY HER!" He was obviously angry at her questioning his love.

Lily looked up at him, tears streaming down her face and clouding her vision. "So you led me on?" she said quietly.

"I did nothing of the sort," he replied, indignantly, "Lily, just cause I love Stella, doesn't mean I can't have feelings for you too."

"Yeah, but, James, it doesn't mean you can act on them. You'll hurt both her and me," Lily sobbed.

"Lils, I never meant to hurt you, babe," he told her, once again hugging her. "I just acted on impulse."

"You do that too much, James," she said, smiling weakly.

"I know, I'm a very spontaneous person," he joked.

"I mean, if this gets out, everyone is gonna think I'm some sleep-about," she cried onto his shoulder.

"No-one could ever think that about you," he said defensively, "and if it does get out, which it won't, I'll say it was all me. I'll even tell them I raped you if you want."

"No, you'd get sent to Azkaban if that happened and I couldn't live knowing you went there for me," she whispered.

"I'm here for you, whenever you need me," he reassured her.

"No, James, I don't think my self control is that good," she snivelled.

"What?" he asked, gazing confusedly at her.

"I don't think I could manage being anywhere near you and not want you," Lily murmured.

"You like me?" James asked, shocked.

"Yes, James, I thought I made that quite clear last Friday," Lily nodded through her sobs.

He gave a triumphant grin before sighing, "I love you, babe."

"Did you tell her that too?" she asked, pushing him away.

He grasped her hands, "who? Stella?" She nodded once again. "Well, Lil, I wouldn't of got engaged to her if I didn't love her."

"I hope you guys are very happy together," Lily told him, "James?"

"Yeah?"

"Can you do me a favour and stay away from me?" she asked, wiping away tears.

He looked at her, "Lily, is that necessary?"

She nodded, "I won't be part of some passionate love affair, James. She's your fiancée and I just happen to be a crush of yours from school."

"You've always been more than a crush to me, Lily," he said, cupping her cheek.

"Did you hear me, Potter? I said no," she growled.

He stepped away from her like she was on fire, "very well," he said.

They sat down at their desks opposite each other. Lily glared, furiously over her paperwork. James sighed in a heartbroken manner every so often before continuing to work. Why now? Why did Lily have to walk back into his life now? He had finally gotten over the fact that she was never going to be his, he'd started dating, got engaged and here Lily was about to jeopardise his future happiness. Or perhaps she was here to save him. 'No, James' he told himself, 'I love Stella and that will never change, no matter what happens between Lily and I. Lily was right; they were over, before they had ever really begun.'

Alice bounded in at that moment, oblivious to the brooding moods of the room's two other occupants. "Lily, Lily, it's positive," she exclaimed, "I'm gonna have a baby."

Lily moved to hug Alice, "wow," she said, "when's it due?" she asked, glaring over Alice's shoulder at James. James noticed there were tears still shining in her emerald eyes.

"The end of July," Alice beamed.

"Aw! Is Frank happy?" Lily asked.

"Yep, very," Alice replied.

A baby, now that was an interesting idea, James contemplated. James bet he and Stella would have beautiful children. "Congratulations, Alice," James said from behind his desk.

"I'm so excited!" Alice screamed, jumping on the balls of her feet. Lily hugged her, smiling weakly. "Lils, you okay? You seem down," Alice said.

"You just need to be gentle with her for a bit, she's just had a big shock," James said, good naturedly as he fiddled with a quill.

"WHAT WOULD YOU KNOW, POTTER?!" Lily yelled, "DON'T ACT ALL WISE, YOU KNOW NOTHING OF HOW I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW! GO BACK TO YOUR BLOODY FIANCÉE!"

"Lily?" Alice asked. She hadn't seen one of Lily's outbursts for a long time. But then again, Lily had not seen James in a long time and James had always been one of the few people who could set Lily's usually gentle nature alight.

"It's nothing, Al," Lily said, moving away from her and setting back down to work. James looked up at her sadly, could they ever just be friends?

"" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" ""

"James!" Stella greeted excitedly.

"Hey, sweetie," he greeted.

"I see you kept your promise, I was expecting to have to drag you into the house myself," she smiled.

He pulled her into an embrace, "now why would I break a promise to my beautiful fiancée?" he asked her.

She shrugged, "Good day?"

"Yeah, not too bad," he lied, "I brought you something," he told her. He pulled her large bouquet of red tulips and daffodils from behind his back. He couldn't bring himself to give her roses at that moment. His heart was too shaken with the feelings he still had towards Lily.

"Aw, James, darling, you shouldn't have," Stella beamed.

"I wanted to," he said, kissing her cheek.

He sat down on the sofa while Stella busied herself with putting the flowers in a vase. Once she was finished she sat down next to him. He put an arm around her and gave her a long kiss. There was no urgency in it, other than James proving to himself that he still loved her, no matter that Lily Evans had suddenly walked back into his life.

"Hey, I can't be bothered to cook and I'm sure you can't, let's go out for dinner, Stel." He said as he broke the kiss.

"Yeah, okay," she said, giving him another kiss. They stood and James went off to change into something more casual than his work robes. He took his shirt off as Stella entered their bedroom. She lay down on the bed, "hey, James."

"Yes, sweetie?"

"I love you," she smiled.

He turned to look at her. 'I love Lily,' he thought, 'no you don't, you love Stella, get it right.' "I…uh… love you too, Stel."

Once he was in a casual shirt and trousers, he lay down on the bed next to her. She leant her head against his chest and he played with her dark curls. He took her hand in his and fiddled with the pink sapphire and diamond ring on her finger.

"It's beautiful, James," she told him.

"What is?"

"The ring."  
"A beautiful ring, for an even more beautiful fiancée," he smiled.

"Liar!"

"I'm telling the truth," he replied, "c'mon, let's go get some dinner, I'm starving."  
"Oh, that's typical you, James, always thinking of your stomach," she laughed. She put a jacket over her pale pink v-necked top and took his hand. "Do you wanna invite Sirius?" she asked.

"Nope," James shook his head, "this is a party for two, me and my fiancée." He leant her against the hallway wall and kissed her sweetly.

"James," she giggled.

"Stella," he mocked. "I love you, sweetie."

"Love you too, darling," she replied.

"" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" ""

She sat on her sofa as the tears began to fall.

' _He's engaged now.'_

Lily could still hear Alice's voice in her head. Stupid Potter and his stupid fiancée. Stella, she snorted, Stella Potter did not sound right. 'But does Lily Potter sound any better?' she asked herself. 'Of course it does' she reassured herself. She couldn't believe James had dared to sleep with her, even though he had a fiancée. He was still the immature, self assured, bulling toerag he had been at school. He just looked more mature and defiantly hotter. She wondered if James was emotionally ready to be starting a family. From her point of view he still seemed to be the lazy sleep-about he had been at the age of seventeen. But obviously Stella didn't think so. She briefly wondered if James had had other lovers during his and Stella's relationship. Surely she must have noticed if he spent most of his nights away from home. She was absolutely certain James' fiancée was reasonably smart. James had always found the dull, unintelligible girls who had used to pine over him incredibly boring, it was part of the reason he had always been so taken with her. She was smart, different, a real girl, as James had once put it. Lily was certain that he had got engaged to a girl with her own mind, someone who didn't follow the crowd. If anything, she knew James would always follow his own beliefs and advice.

She rubbed her eyes dry and went to the kitchen. She poured a large glass of red wine for herself and put on a pan of boiling water to make her favourite pasta dish, spaghetti carbonara. She fried some strips of bacon and added cream and cheese, to make a Carbonara sauce. She cooked the pasta and added it to the sauce. She added a single whipped egg to the meal and set it in a bowl. She sat in the living room, eating her meal, drinking wine and half watching a dreary muggle programme about a kid who kept eating spiders.

'It could be worse,' she thought to herself. 'I could be engaged too. At least if Potter gets found out, Stella can't hate me, I didn't know he had a fiancée.' She wondered what Stella was like. She bet she had long, straight, blonde hair and sparkling blue eyes. She was probably tall and very thin. Legs up to her chin.

Lily went to her bookshelf and took out a photo album. It was one full of Hogwarts pictures. She turned to the front, where there was a picture of her and Alice on the first day. She fast forwarded through the book, until she got to a picture of her and James in the Heads Common Room. He had his arm strung about her and her lips were pursed in a way as if to say 'why do I have to endure this freak?' Lily looked deeply at the picture. "If it was different, would I be your fiancée instead?" She damned her and her stupid pride for a moment. It had always prevented her from getting with James, when she worked out she liked him, in the end of seventh year.

"" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" ""

"Hey, James."

James looked up from his meal. "Yes, Stel?"

"I want lilies at the wedding," she said, taking his hand.

James had always wanted lilies at his wedding, when he used to daydream of getting married. But then again in his dreams he was always marrying Lily Evans. No, he couldn't have lilies when he was marrying another woman. Lilies belonged to Lily Evans and he could never involve them in a relationship with another woman. "No," James shook his head.

"James?"

"No, I don't want lilies," he repeated, taking another bite of food.

"But why? James, they're my favourite flowers," she whined.

'Mine too,' he thought. "I hate them," he told her, "they'll stain if they get on your gown and they smell awful."

"That's not true," Stella argued, "oh James, darling, please?"

"Definitely not," he replied, "we should have roses or carnations."

She looked defeated, "pink and red roses then, James?"

"Yeah, or maybe white and gold," he nodded, "remember we haven't chosen a colour theme yet." He kissed her palm.

"We have so much to do before the wedding," she giggled.

"Yep," he sighed.

"Oh, James, I can't wait," she grinned, "I'll finally be married to the man of my dreams."

He laughed, "It's certainly exciting."

She looked at him deeply, "James, do you dream about me?"

"All the time," he promised.

"Are they good dreams?" she questioned.

"Very," he said, huskily, "well, for me anyway."

She blinked, "James, you're so naughty."

"And you, my dear fiancée, are so sexy," he said, moving round the back of the chair to whisper deeply in her ear. She looked up at him and gave him a gentle kiss on the lips. They paid the bill and apparated back home.

They changed and got into bed. James lay on top of her and kissed her. His lips floated down her neck and along her side. Stella groaned; her nights with James always turned out to be fantastic fun. She tangled her fingers in his hair and wrapped her legs around his back. James gave her a cheeky grin and nipped her collarbone lightly. She placed a kiss to his muscular shoulder and he growled lowly. He opened his eyes to look at her, his eyes filled with desire. He stroked her bare shoulder and reached out to pull off her nightgown.

"James," she moaned. She removed his boxers as James pushed her deeper into the mattress while kissing her.

"Alright?" he asked, softly.

"James," she cried out.

"Easy, sweetie," he said. They began to make love, Stella screaming his name in passion. She pulled his body tightly against hers, closing her eyes in delight. He frowned slightly; it just didn't feel the same. Not the same as the amazing ecstasy he had felt as he made love to Lily. Stella's hands roamed his body as his male instincts took over.

Twenty minutes later, when Stella had fallen asleep, James lay awake, entwined in his fiancée's arms. All he could think of was Lily. He knew it was wrong to compare Lily and Stella's passion but making love to Lily had, without a doubt, been the best thing he had ever done in his life. He _couldn't_ compare it. He sighed into Stella's soft hair, it just didn't make sense. He was getting married to Stella, whom he was almost entirely sure he loved. Yet he had enjoyed making love to Lily more than he did Stella. Perhaps he did love Lily too. Or perhaps Lily had just had a lot of practice and perfected her technique. No, James was pretty sure Lily had been a virgin until they slept together last Friday. He'd almost felt it. So, he concluded that he must love Lily as well as Stella and yet he could only have one of them.

"I love you, Stel," he breathed, playing with her curls. Her only response was to pull him tighter to her in her sleep. He finally fell asleep in the early hours of the morning; the only thing on his mind was the ever beautiful Lily Evans. 'And I love you as well, Lily.' His last thought was.

* * *

**Ooooh! Please review! Stella's engagment ring is on my profile. **

**Back to school tomorrow, may be a while updating, I have a lot to do. Two pieces of Welsh coursework, Drama practicals. OMG! I better learn my scripts! LOL! Damn!**

**Love SG xoxo**


	3. Chapter 2: A Profound Surprise

**Fragile Heart**

**Chapter 2**

**A Profound Surprise**

"Lily?" Alice called, as she walked into Lily Evans' apartment. It was two months to the day since Lily and James had slept together. James and Lily had generally ignored each other at work since their argument, though neither noticed the longing glances the other gave when they were not watching. Lily was still heartbroken and James was insistent that he did love Stella.

That morning was the third morning Alice had visited Lily's apartment in succession. Lily had been sick for the past three days. Alice sighed, absently rubbing her stomach. At nearly four months pregnant, Alice was starting to show.

"Alice, is that you? I'm in the bedroom," Lily called from where she was.

"Hey," Alice greeted as she entered the room, "how're you doing?"

"Alright, I suppose, I haven't thrown up yet, if that's what you mean," Lily sighed.

"Did you go to the medwitch?" Alice asked, sitting on Lily's bed.

"Yeah, I did."  
"What'd she say?" Alice questioned.

Lily bit her lip, "I'm pregnant, Al."

"What? Lily, how?" Alice frowned, "I thought you were a virgin."  
"I was, until two months today," she sighed, "we better get some coffee…"

"Hot chocolate," Alice smiled, "would be better, caffeine is terrible for babies."

"Oh," Lily sighed, "I have a lot to learn."

"You do," Alice grinned, "but I promise you, it's not all bad."

Once the drinks were ready, the two young women sat down together on Lily's sofa.

"So Lily, how?" Alice asked.

"Well, I slept with someone," Lily replied, she looked like a child caught with their fingers in the cookie jar.

"So I gathered," Alice smiled, "Lils, who's the father?"

"Potter," Lily sighed.

"James Potter?!"

"Yep," Lily admitted, "I saw him first two months today, so I invited him back here to catch up. I ended up sleeping with him. He left in a great hurry, I didn't know why. Anyway, two days later I find out he's got a fiancée, two months later I find out I'm pregnant with his kid." She took a deep draught of hot chocolate.

"You have to tell him, Lily," Alice told her.

"I know," Lily sighed, "but then what? He's got a fiancée, Al, he's not gonna give that up just cause I got pregnant."  
"He should," Alice said.

"But he won't," Lily guaranteed, "you better get to work." Alice nodded. "Could you ask Potter to come round here after work?"

"Sure," Alice nodded.

"See you later, Al," Lily said, hugging her best friend.

* * *

"Potter!" James looked up to see Alice Longbottom standing looking over his desk.

"Hi, Alice," James smiled softly at her.

"Potter, you need to go and see Lily tonight," Alice told him.

"Tonight." James raised an eyebrow at her.

"As soon as you get in from work."

"I can't. I'm taking Stella out for a meal," he told her.

"You can do that any time, you must see Lily," she insisted.

James ruffled his hair, "sorry, Al."

"No, Potter, you don't understand do you?" Alice snapped in reply, "you must see her!"

He stared at her. "You don't take no for an answer, do you?" James smiled.

"No, I don't," she agreed, "so you'll go?"

He sighed.

"Please?!"

"Yeah, alright." He gave a grin that Alice had not seen him smile in years. It was the handsome, cheeky, conceited grin he had used to give Lily when he flirted with her. Alice sighed; she had always seen Lily and James as future partners not him marrying some half-blooded freak. James had recently put a photograph of him and Stella on their last holiday on his desk. Alice thought she looked terrible, boring and plain. James had always liked Lily as she was so different and special. She missed the James that had used to drive Lily crazy. She wished that they had been together.

James looked at her, "what?"

"Nothing," Alice shook her head sadly, "I'll talk to you later, James."

* * *

"I'm coming," Lily called out across the apartment.

"Lily?" James yelled.

"Coming," she shouted. She made her way to the door. She opened it slowly. "Oh, James, hi, come in."

He smiled, "hi."

They walked into the lounge and sat sofa that they had previously kissed on, among other things. "Alice said you wanted to see me." James told her.

"Yeah," she nodded, nervously.

"What's up?" he asked, gazing at her.

"I have something important to tell you," she whispered.

"What?" he asked, "what is it?"

"James, I'm…, well I'm…"

"You're what?"

"I'm pregnant," she finally finished.

"What?!" of all the words he had been expecting her to say, these were not any of them. "You… you, seriously?" he asked, failing to put together any coherent sentence.

"Yes, James," she sighed.

"What, just the one time?" his eyes were wide with shock.

"Yes, James. What are we going to do?"

"One second, Lil, let me process the information you have already given me, I'm finding it a little hard to do so right now," he ran a hand through his hair.

"James, I can't have a child on my own," she cried.

"I know, babe," he tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear. "Lily, this is gonna be a hard decision for me. I mean if I want to start a family with you, I'll have to leave Stella and I do love her."

"Yeah, I understand," she nodded.

"Can you give me a few days to decide what I want to do?"

"Sure," she replied, smoothing her hand down his cheek.

"I'm really sorry, Lil, I have to go meet Stella," he said, standing. "I'm meeting her for dinner and I'm already late."

"Okay," she showed him to the door. She leant against the door frame as James turned to leave. "Oh and James…"

"Yeah?" he turned to look in her eyes.

"Thanks for coming."

"No problem. I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Yep, I expect so," she smiled.

"Hope you feel better," he said.

"Me too. Will you come and find me once you've made a decision?"  
"As soon as I do, I'll come and find you," he promised.

"Thanks, bye," her hair blew tantalisingly in the wind.

"Bye," he said, bending to kiss her cheek.

She watched him walk off and placed her hand to the spot where his lips had been moments before. She frowned; she didn't want him to meet Stella. But Stella was his fiancée and there was nothing she could do.

* * *

James sighed, sitting across from Stella. His mind was racing. All he could think about was Lily and the baby, their baby. What was he going to do? He loved Lily, he always had. He was ecstatic she was carrying his child, naturally. But then he had to think of his and Stella's relationship too. He didn't want to leave her. He was sure he loved her, or so he thought. And his parents, what would they think? Their son getting another woman pregnant, two months before his wedding. They loved Stella; she was their perfect match for their young son. Pretty, sweet, sensible, quiet, proper, meek, well brought up, his parents loved her for her personality and how good she would look in public as a daughter in law. They cared for their son very much, but their image was very important to them. He knew someone with Lily's personality would not be their first choice as a daughter in law. He also knew they would not be impressed that she was pregnant. He didn't know if he could tell them. But he knew he'd have to if he decided to start a family with her and bring up their baby. What was he going to do?

"James? Honey, are you okay?" James looked up to be met with Stella's worried eyes.

"Er… yep," he lied.

"James, what's wrong?" she pushed the subject, "you came here late and you haven't spoken a word or looked at me, you're picking at your food and you're frowning constantly.

"It's nothing, Stell, just a hard day at work," he responded.

"Promise?"

"Yes, sweetie, I promise."

"Good, I don't like seeing you unhappy."

"I'm not unhappy, I'm just thinking," he told her.

"Are you looking forward to the ministry Christmas ball? I need a new gown; we should go shopping on Saturday."

"Okay," he nodded.

"And your Mum was talking about a having a gathering at your house for Christmas and most likely another for New Year." Stella continued.

"There's enough parties as there is at this time of year, without Mum organising more," James commented.

"Parties are fun if you look at them with the right mind," Stella chided.

"Mum never managed to teach me that mindset," he joked.

"Perhaps a nice party will help you forget about work for a bit," she reasoned.

"Could do," he agreed.

"James?"

"Yeah?"

"I love you."

"Yeah, Stell, I l…love y…you too."

She moved over to kiss him, "it's only two months until the wedding," she grinned.

"Yep," he sighed.

"Let's go home."

"Alright."

They apparated home and got ready for bed. Stella got changed into a see-through baby-blue nightgown. James was already lying in bed when she entered the bedroom. She bent over him and gave him a long passionate kiss. She placed one of his hands on her shoulder, indicating for him to remove her clothing. He sighed and moved the strap away from her skin. His eyes wandered over her skin, but not hungrily. She kissed him again, reaching for his boxers. James flinched as her hand touched the waistband.

"James?"

"It's nothing, just a ticklish spot. Carry on."

"James, you're not ticklish there," she said, frowning.

"I said, carry on, Stell," he snapped.

Stella nodded slowly and ran her tongue provocatively over his lips. She wriggled her hips playfully against his, before once again reaching out to remove his underwear. He checked his racing pulse and allowed her to. She ran her hands along his sides and he wrapped his arms limply around her back. Lily fluttered into his mind and he was instantly provoked. He flipped Stella roughly onto her back and lay on top of her. He kissed her harshly and cupped her breast. He started to make love to her, his racing mind matching his fury in his love making. He rolled over and dreamed of Lily.

* * *

"_POTTER! YOU'RE AN EGOTISTICAL JERK. I WOULD NEVER DATE YOU, NOT IF I HAD THE CHOICE BETWEEN YOU AND SNAPE!" She yelled._

_A man could only take so much heartbreak and James had had enough of it. She had torn his heart again and again. She continued to reject him. What was the point?_

"_Fine, you hate me that much, I'll leave you alone." He snapped, turning away._

"_GOOD RIDDANCE!" Lily yelled after him._

_James growled as he walked he didn't need her; he could get any girl he wanted. There were some nice Hufflepuffs, he could date one of them. He didn't care; it didn't make a difference to him. Then why did it hurt so much?_

_

* * *

_

**OMG! So sorry this has been so long. i lost a whole lot of the chapter and it took me a while to get back to where it was. Ple****ase review.**

**Love JLF xoxo**


	4. Chapter 3: Decision?

**Fragile Heart **

**Chapter 3**

**Decision?**

The redhead stood _alone._ Alone… alone. Tears splattered down her cheeks as she realised what must be done. A medwitch calls. Time is up. A life wasted, a life shot down. There is _no_ hope. Silently, she calls his name. One word, the sound of her feelings, an echo in the distant silence. It breaks her fears. Plummeting into the darkness. Fear flows, bubbles from every pore. There is death, the sound of life distant, murmurs, miles off. White and crisp, but not of life and not of new. A life lost. A life unlived. She panics; every breath is torn from her throat. She sighs, heart wrenchingly. The second call, her heart breaks. A curt nod, another tear. She hides her fear from them. Her secret, his secret. Put to rest. His love, her love, together no more. A heart torn, a death made, a flower ripped from the ground by the roots, its petals trampled into the frosty soil. He was gone… to _her_. Blonde locks, blue eyes, cherry red lips… thin curves. A kiss, a whisper, an embrace, a single caress. A deep love. But not theirs. His, hers. _Theirs. _But not ours. Alone… alone… _alone. _The redhead stood alone.

* * *

A fog rose, the sun crept over the buildings. Lily woke, gasping. She had been having a horrendous dream. She slid out of the crimson bed-sheets and padded into the kitchen. She grabbed a hot drink and sat on the sofa. She drank slowly, deeply breathing. She sighed, horrifically, as she remembered the dream. She prayed it would not become a reality. She loved James. She wanted to spend the rest of her life with him. Her beloved. James, her and their… _baby._

She still wasn't used to the idea that a tiny being resided in her. Half of James and half of her. Together they had created something wonderful. Was it so wrong to want the child they had created together?

She sighed, rubbing her tired eyes. It was now seven-twenty and Lily had to be in work at eight. She'd promised James she would be in. she wished that they could have talked forever the previous night. He had been so sweet, so understanding. He even pretended that he would think about his choices, not told her out flat that it wasn't his problem. She wanted him. He was so kind, understanding, fun, passionate, sweet, hot… sexy. She wanted him so badly. No, she needed him. She needed his love and understanding. She needed him to be a father for their child. But it would never be. And neither would their child.

Lily had decided that she could not bring up a baby on her own. She knew that if James was not interested in the kid, then she would have to have an abortion. She didn't know if wizards and witches did, but she had enough links to the muggle world to get it sorted. It was not a route that Lily did not want to take but she could not become a single mother. She sighed, what were her parents going to think? That was if they ever found out. Of course, if James wasn't interested, then they never would. It was strange that the rest of her life would be based on a single word from the one boy she had sworn she would never like.

She stood; walking into her room to get dressed. She put her robes on and brushed her hair.

She left the house, thirty-five minutes later. She was going to avoid James, let him come to her. She was sure that when he made his decision he would come and find her.

She slowly walked into the office. It was alive with young aurors, their desks messy with paperwork. She sat down at her desk and picked up the work she had to do. It was a report on the last contact and moves with Voldemort. It was things like this that reminded Lily they really were at war and fighting in it. She flicked a quill between her fingers waiting for James and another hard day of resisting him. He drew her to him and could not stop.

She felt a slender hand on her shoulder and turned in shock. "Alice," she greeted.

"Hey, Lil, how're ya doing this morning?" the other witch asked.

"I'm good," Lily replied.

"I'm glad you're feeling better," Alice smiled.

"How's 'Longbottom Junior'?" Lily smiled back.

"Good," Alice nodded, "what about 'Potter Junior'?"

"Sh! Alice, keep your voice down!" Lily said, nervously gazing around to see if anyone had heard them. Luckily no-one had.

Alice just grinned good-naturedly. "You told Potter?"

"Yeah," Lily replied.

"What're you gonna do?"

"Um… well I have two choices, really," Lily said. "Either, Potter wants the baby and we'll settle down together, or he says no and I have an abortion."

"So Potter didn't give you a straight no, then?" Alice asked.

"No, he says he needs to think about it, then he'll come and find me when he decides," Lily told her.

"You could have it and give it up for adoption rather than abortion," Alice said.

"No, I'd only get attached…" Lily sighed, "I don't want to give up my baby, Al. I just couldn't cope with being a single parent."

Alice nodded, "well it's your choice."

"Al?"

"Hm?"

"If I do have to have an abortion… will you, I mean… would you come with me? I'd hate to go alone," Lily asked.

"Course I will!" Alice promised.

"Thanks," Lily whispered. "Al?"  
"Yeah?"

"I had a horrible dream last night?"  
"What about?"

"I was in St Mungos," she said.

"And… oh! Lily!" Alice placed a hand to her mouth.

"I don't want to kill my baby," she sobbed.

"Then don't!" Alice said, "Keep it, and Frank and I'll help."

Lily shook her head, "it is Potter's baby, if he doesn't want it, I won't be able to live with it."

Alice looked forlornly at her, "oh, Lily, why you? You don't deserve this."

"But I've got it anyway, haven't I?"

"What've you got, Evans?" Sirius Black cut in, "Potter in you?" he teased.

Lily looked shocked, how could he know?

"Black, that was completely inappropriate," Alice told him.

"Lily didn't even snap at me," he smirked.

"Lily is under a lot of pressure at the moment," Alice replied, "bugger off, Black."  
"What's up with her?"

"None of your business."

"Didn't think I'd get away with that one," he winked. "Anyway, Evans, Prongs was looking for you."

"Oh," Lily replied, trying to hide her suspense.

"Well, I'll see you chicks later," Sirius grinned, striding off.

"Oh-my-God!" Lily gasped, "He's decided already, I knew he had already decided! Oh, no… my poor baby! He's decided and he's gonna say no. he's decided, Alice."

"Who's decided what, Lily?" a distinctively male voice asked.

"James!" she gasped.

"That's my name, flower," he smirked.

She blinked, gazing at him. He stared back, his eyes drinking in her body, from her emerald eyes, neat curves, full lips, round breasts to her red hair.

"We need to talk," James said.

"Yeah, we do," Lily agreed.

"Say we take a walk outside? It's too crowded in here."

"Yeah, it is," she stood to follow him outside the office.

She watched him, biting her bottom lip. Finally she could no longer stand the silence between them. "I trust you have come to a decision?"  
He nodded, "I've though about it carefully and I'm not gonna change my mind… ever."

"Okay," she indicated for him to continue.

"I'm going to…" he was cut off by a shrill bell and shouting. People ran out of the office, wands drawn.

"What's happened?" James asked as Sirius and Alice came to them.

"There's been a raid," Sirius said.

"We have to go immediately," Alice continued. "Come on."

"Lily," James said as they moved away. "Stay with me."

She nodded, "okay."

* * *

**Please R&R! **

**Love JLF xoxo**


	5. Chapter 4: Potter Junior

**Fragile Heart**

**Chapter 4**

**Potter Junior**

"James?" he looked up as she called his name. He was drenched in sweat and his hair hung in his hazel eyes.

"Are you okay, Lily?" he asked, "You didn't get hurt, did you?"

"No, James, I'm okay," she smiled.

"Sorry, Flower, I'm fussing, aren't I?" he said, running his fingers through his damp and bloody hair.

"Just a little," she teased, stroking his cheek.

He sighed in delight at her touch, "I hate what you do to me, Lily."

"But you love me?" she asked him.

"How could I not?" he asked.

"And here's you engaged to another woman," she laughed.

He grinned, "You're the one who's carrying my kid."

"Hmmm…" she laughed. "Seriously, James, though, what do you wanna do?"

"Well, push you against a wall and shag you," he told her.

"Bloody hell, potter, I don't see how that would help our situation." She chided.

"I know, it's great, ain't it?" he placed a kiss to her forehead.

"James!?"

"Yes, Lily-kins?"

"What do you wanna do?" she asked again.

"Bout what?"

"The baby?" she asked.

He frowned, "um…"

"I thought you had made your mind up?" she inquired.

"I have, I'm just finding a way to say it."

She frowned, it couldn't be good. He was struggling to tell her what he knew he must. She sighed, her heart catching in her throat. She felt like her heart had smashed into a thousand pieces, piercing her body. She looked up at him, smiling encouragingly.

He sighed, "I wanna…"  
"James!"

He turned, "hey, Stell." He greeted, stiffly.

"Honey, are you okay?" she asked, "I heard about the raid. I had to come and see you."

"I'm fine, Stell," he smiled. She kissed him on the lips, though he did not react.

"James?" Lily asked, softly.

"Lily, this is my fiancée, Stella, Stell, this is Lily, my mate from school," he introduced.

"Oh, hi, Lily," Stella said, "it's so nice to meet one of my Jamie's friends," she smiled.

"Nice to finally meet you too," Lily said, "James has told me so much about you."

"He has?" Stella giggled.

"Absolutely," Lily nodded.

"All nice things, I hope," Stella said.

"Hasn't said a word against you," Lily promised.

"That's good to know," Stella teased. "So, were you and James close at school?"

"More like casual acquaintances," Lily smiled.

"Oh, good," Stella grinned, "it's just that James tells me he used to be in great demand when he was in school. I wouldn't want our friendship tainted by you used to have fancied my fiancé."

"You needn't worry, Stella, I'd never like James in that way," Lily lied.

"Oh good, I'm sure we're gonna be great friends." Stella grinned.

"Uh, Stell, do you wanna meet me in that little Italian we went to last Thursday in about half an hour?" James cut in, "Lily and I need to shower."

"Yes, you do," Stella agreed, "alright, darling, Lily why don't you join us?"

"Yeah, why not?" Lily smiled, "see you there."  
They watched her walk off along the corridor. James sighed softly, looking deeply at Lily. "So, what do you think?" James asked.

"Of Stella?" He nodded. "She's a lot different than I expected."  
"What do ya mean?" James asked.

"I expected a girl with blonde hair and blue eyes; it's nice to see you still don't go for that kind of girl." Lily smiled.

He grinned, "Well I started with you, didn't I?"  
"True," she giggled. "James?"

"Hmm," he looked at her.

"Please tell me what you wanna do?" she begged.

He nodded, "okay, maybe this time I'll actually get to tell you. We've been interrupted twice."

"I had noticed," Lily replied dryly.

"Well, I thought about this really carefully…" he started.

"You already said that, James, stop stalling and just tell me," Lily rubbed her temples.

"Hey, Lily, don't get stressed," he grabbed her hands and held them to his chest. He pulled her into an embrace, leaning over her shoulder until his lips were in line with her ear. "I love you…" he whispered. Her eyes widened in shock, "…and I want to have our baby."

She pulled back to look into his eyes. "You do?"

He nodded. She hugged him deeply and started to kiss him. They moved into the deserted changing room, kissing. Lily pulled off James' sweat soaked robes and moved her hand inside his shirt. They moved into a shower cubicle and James locked the door behind them. James pushed her back against the wall, and tore her robes from her body. He began a line of kisses down her body, pulling off her clothing, desperate to be nearer to her. Lily's hands ravelled in his hair as she kissed his shoulder. They were soon clothed in only their underwear. As the minutes passed, they shed their final clothes, kissing deeply and once again began to make love. James pushed her into the opposite wall, the shower flickering on, but neither cared. All there was was each other and the love that they shared. In this magical world of passion there was no Stella to worry about, no baby, they were not hiding in a shower cubicle at their work. They were together, where the belonged. Home.

Their passion calmed, once they had reached ecstasy and they separated. They picked their wand up off the floor and summoned clean clothes, towels and washing kits. They silently showered, happy to be in each others' presence.

"James?" Lily asked as they began to pull on their robes.

"Yes, Flower?" he turned to look at her.

"You're gonna have to tell Stella," she said quietly.

"I know, love," he sat, pulling her by the wrist into his lap. "I've gotta decide how to tell her, I do love her, Flower, but you're my girl." Lily smiled into his chest. She liked that, his girl. "Bloody hell, my parents are going to kill me."

"James, I understand perfectly if you want to change your mind," she said, lowering her eyes from his.

"Don't be ridiculous, Lily, I wouldn't have told you I wanted to be with you if I didn't want to." He replied sharply, lifting her chin, "okay?!"

She nodded, "I love you, James."

"I love you too," he smiled. "Come on then, we better go and meet my fiancée for dinner."

"And then you'll tell her about us?" Lily asked.

"Lily, I can't, that would a cruel and selfish way to dump the girl I have been dating for the past year and a half." He told her. They began to walk.

"Wow! James Potter really has started to grow up," she commented.

"When you're expecting your first child you have to," he told her solemnly.

She laughed, "well in that case, I think you'll make a fine father."

* * *

**HAPPY CHRISTMAS!!!**


	6. Chapter 5: The One and Only, Lily Evans

**Fragile Heart**

**Chapter 5**

**The One and Only, Lily Evans**

After that, things became more complicated than ever between James Potter and Lily Evans. They had successfully cleared the first hurdle; in that Stella was absolutely certain Lily had no romantic interest in James. This led to horrendous guilt on Lily's part. She hated the fact that she had successfully gained James' pretty fiancée's trust for something she was doing anyway.

"_I won't be part of some passionate love affair, James."_

Even now the words still stung at her heart. A passionate love affair indeed. For this was exactly how James and Lily were acting now. Lily sighed, raising her head and glancing across the office to where the man she now called 'lover' sat. They couldn't help themselves. Whenever they were alone, which was admittedly seldom, they just had to find some way in expressing their love for one another. It wasn't hard, and with each passing moment spent together, they found it harder to resist.

James grinned as he became aware of her gaze. He raised his eyebrows in a way which she interpreted him to be blowing her a secret kiss. He glanced at her stomach, and Lily knew this to be his way of asking her how she and their baby were. He had done this every morning as she settled herself in the office, since he had agreed he wanted their child. She gave him a smile as her way of saying they were both fine.

This was the hardest part. Being so close and yet no contact. He could not let the world see how much he loved her, and vice versa. They had not told anyone of the new relationship they had sparked together. Only he and Lily knew, and Alice who had wanted to know James' reaction to her pregnancy. She hated it. Why should they have to hide it? She sighed, because she was the one doing wrong. Stella could do what she liked, James was hers. But he could not be shared.

She saw his shadow behind her before she felt his hand on her shoulder. He had moved while she had been deep in thought. "Love," he breathed into her ear. "You won't get any work done if all you do is stare at the wall."

She felt a blush creeping up her cheeks at being caught. "I didn't realise I was." She told him.

"Mum has invited Stel and I to dinner this evening, Stella wants you to come. Are you free?" he asked, his fingers lightly grazing her neck. It was as close as he dared get in their current setting.

"Yeah, course, what dress code?" she asked.

"Um… Stella's wearing a dress, I was gonna wear a shirt and some smart trousers," he replied. "Why don't you wear that black thing that was in your wardrobe?"

"Are you sure? You said redheads in black turned you on," she whispered.

"I can manage, babe," he smiled. "I've finished my paperwork; wanna come down to the gym with me?" Lily smirked after correctly translating this to a 'if the gym's free, we could pop down for a quick shag.'

* * *

"Sure," she grinned.

"Hi, Lily," Stella grinned, hugging her 'friend'.

"Hi, Stella," Lily smiled falsely. "Hello, James."

"Hey…" he said softly, winking carefully at her.

"Good day?" Lily asked politely.

"Not bad," Stella said, taking James' hand in hers. It took all of Lily's willpower not to curse her.

They walked leisurely up the path of the Potters' estate. Lily's mood brooding at the way Stella was touching her lover, even though she was his fiancée. They got to the house and James opened the door. "Mum, we're here," James called out.

"Jamie…" a woman's voice called, "I'll be right there, go and sit in the living room. Your Father's there…"

James did as his mother said and lead them both into the sitting room. "Hi, Dad," he said.

"James, how're you doing, son?" a man with thin greying hair asked.

"Not bad…" James said, moving to sit on a sofa. Stella sat next to him and Lily on Stella's other side. Lily sighed; annoyed she was not sat next to James.

"Stella, hi," he greeted, "and who's this?" he asked, gesturing to Lily.

"Dad, this is Lily Evans, a mate from school. She's just joined the same Auror team as I am on." James said, smiling sweetly at her.

"Nice to meet you, finally, Lily," he said. "Richard Potter."

"What do you mean 'finally', Mr Potter," Stella asked.

"Ah, Sirius was forever telling us about a Lily Evans," Richard said. "This is the Lily Evans, James?"

"No, just a Lily Evans…" James replied.

"Sorry, I'm late, mate," a voice cut him off.

"Its okay, Padfoot, glad you could make it," James said.

The other man grinned. "Hey, Evans, Stella."

"Hi, Black," Lily greeted.

"Ah, Sirius, we were just talking. Is this or not, the Lily Evans?" Richard asked.

Sirius grinned widely. "The one and only."

"I have a feeling there is more that I don't know of here," Stella said.

"More than you could possibly know…" Sirius winked, sitting down next to Lily. "So… Prongs managed to get you to come to this little gathering, did he?"

"Obviously…" she replied, in a tone that reminded them both of Severus Snape.

"Jamie, Sirius, Stella…" a woman called, rushing into the room. She pulled her son into a tight embrace. She then proceeded to kiss Stella's cheek and then Sirius'. "And who's this?!" she asked, looking expectantly at Sirius, as she could not possibly be attached to her son. He had a fiancée.

"Seems like James finally brought her home…" Richard laughed.

"Who!?"

"Lily Evans."

"The Lily Evans?!"

"The very one!"

Dinner was a rather grand affair of six courses. Afterwards, Richard and Sirius moved into the living room to have a conversation over firewhiskys. Stella and Megan stayed in the dining room to discuss the wedding. Meanwhile, James opted to show Lily around the estate.

"…And this, this is my bedroom," James said, showing her in. the room was large with thick, wooden furniture. The walls were a pastel blue and his bedclothes a deep blue.

He moved over to the bed, lightly taking Lily's hand so that she lay down next to him. "Alright, love?"

"Hmm…" she replied, gently pushing his dark hair out of his eyes.

"I can't believe how much fuss your parents made of meeting me," she said, looking lustfully at him.

"Yeah, Sirius, thought telling my parents how I used to chase you was bloody hysterical," he said, leaning into kiss her.

She laughed lightly as their lips joined. "I think I disagree with him."

"Yeah, me too," James sighed, running his fingers through her hair.

She moved closer to him and kissed him deeply. He sighed happily against her lips and she slid her tongue into his mouth.

"Well, well, what do we have here?"

James and Lily looked up suddenly. "Padfoot…"

"Care to explain?" Sirius asked them.

"What do you wanna know?" James asked, straightening his glasses and shirt.

"How you and Evans are suddenly snogging passionately in your bed?" Sirius questioned.

"Well…" James hesitated. He then went on to tell Sirius how he had seen Lily, slept with her, found out she was pregnant and chosen to have their baby.

"When are you gonna tell Stella?" Sirius asked.

"I'm not sure," James sighed, running a hand wearily through his hair.

"Well… at least you got the girl, mate."

"Yes!" lily watched them, feeling like she was out of place in this scene. She sighed, knowing there was a storm yet to come. But for the moment she let the boys' rejoice in James' victory.


	7. Chapter 6: At the Wedding

**Fragile Heart**

**Chapter 6**

**At the Wedding**

"James," he looked up across the empty office.

"James, you have to tell her."

He looked at her deeply. "I will," he said quickly, too quickly.

"But when?" Lily asked.

"When I work out how too," James replied, gazing at her lips. He didn't want to be having this conversation with the love of his life. He reached up to touch her lips with his, if he could just avert her attention. He pulled her into his lap, attempting to end their discussion. His lips met hers, hotly, craving. His hands drew her soft body closer to his.

"James!" she pulled away.

He raised an eyebrow at her. "Yes?" he asked innocently.

"Are you sure you still want this?" she asked, "me and the baby?"

"What!?" he yelped, "course I do."

"I can't do this anymore; I'm fed up of hiding."

He looked at her, ponderingly. "It's a pain, yes."

"A pain, that's an understatement, James. I hate it, running around cause we're both too ashamed to tell anyone. It's not my fault, you ran off and got engaged and then decided you wanted to start a family with me. You either tell her or I'll end it." Lily said sharply.

"Lil, please…" he said, running a hand through his hair, in distress. "It's hard on me too. But I've been with Stella for the past year; I have to tell her in a way that respects everything we've been."

"What about me? What about us?" Lily asked. "If you respect us and Stella enough, you'll tell her now."

She stood moving away from him. He followed her and turned her to face him.

"I thought this was going to change things between us," she said softly, pressing her hands to her slightly swelled stomach.

He watched her, "I love you."

She sighed, "Oh, James, I love you too."

He pulled her into an embrace, lightly pressing their stomachs together. He kissed her cheek and ran his fingers up through her hair.

"Sooner or later, everyone's gonna know," she told him quietly.

"Then let's wait till later," he said suggestively.

She pushed out of his arms, frowning slightly. "Come and find me when you're single," she told him.

"That won't be possible," he called. "Cause I'll be with you."  
"Well when you're ready for me to be your one and only," she replied, walking out of the office.

"Lily," he called after her, but she did not turn around.

* * *

"_Potter, he was my boyfriend!" she snarled. _

"_You call __**that**__ your boyfriend?!" he jeered. "Merlin, Evans, you need to dramatically improve your dating habits. You'll never get anywhere in life if you date people like that."_

"_What you're trying to say is I should changes my tastes to like arrogant, immature, egotistical, pratish gits like you," she growled. _

"_Well, that's not exactly what I meant, but it would be a start," he said. "What I meant was you should change your tastes to like stunningly handsome and funny, clever, scrummy sex gods, such as myself. You're certainly fit enough yourself." he told her._

"_Oooh, Potter, you're so conceited, it makes me sick! I bet you're more conceited than the rest of the school put together." She replied, clenching her fists. _

"_Easy, love," he told her. "Anyone might begin to think you hated me," he teased._

"_Hate you?" she echoed. "No," his face brightened… "I frigging loathe you!" …and fell again. _

"_That's a lie," he said quietly. _

"_No," she shook her head venomously, "it's not. Now the fact is, no matter that you may find me slightly attractive…"_

"_Slightly attractive?! I think you're bloody gorgeous!" he exclaimed, making to grab her arm._

_She ignored his comment and tugged her arm out of his grasp. "It does not mean you can go around hexing my boyfriends."_

"_I can't help it, I'm insanely jealous every time I see one of them near you. I… I love you, Lily. I bloody love you. There, I've said it, I, James Potter, love, you, Lily Evans." He said in an angry outburst. He'd never said it out loud before. So much for the subtle flight of fancy he'd tried to hide it as. _

"_That's a lie," she said, shocked at his confession. _

"_No, it's not!" he said hotly. "I love you, and I always will."_

"_NO!" she commanded, horror filling her features. "It doesn't give you any right, no matter how you feel." She backed away from him. _

"_I just want to be with you," he told her. "It's all I want." He reached out towards her._

"_You can't have it!" she shrieked. _

"_I will!" he objected. "And I won't give up until I do!" _

_She turned around, "I'll never be yours," she screamed as she fled.

* * *

_

"James, I got my wedding gown today."

He looked up, not even able to pretend he was interested in his wedding that would never go ahead. His eyes stung with tears. Lily Evans had always been able to hurt him so easily.

"_I hate you!" _

He shook his head, trying to push the thoughts from the past away. Trying to focus on the present. It was useless. Even if he had been interested in what Stella was saying, he'd never concentrated.

"_Come and find me when you're single."_

Why couldn't Lily see the strain this was causing him? His wedding was less than a month away. And somewhere before then he had to tell Stella he was leaving her for Lily. How did he do it?

And then it hit him. The perfect way. Well, no, it would kill Stella, but then he realised, Stella was going to be hurt no matter how he told her. At the wedding. He realised how to tell her. To end everything. At the wedding.

* * *

**Sorry this is such an awful chapter. reviews please!**


	8. Chapter 7: Wedding Day

**Fragile Heart**

**Chapter 7**

**Wedding Day**

James woke, groaning. He felt Lily moving in his arms. He surprisingly didn't have a hangover. Sirius had attempted to get him rather drunk the previous evening. He was getting 'married' this morning. In reality he had to break Stella's heart. He stretched his arms around Lily's form.

After James' stag party, he'd insisted to Sirius he was coming back to Lily's to spend the night. She'd been surprised to be greeted by James at that time in the morning (three o'clock) but had been happy to see him, none-the-less. They had spent the rest of the night in intimacy.

She yawned slightly against his bare chest, while he pulled her closer against him. He lay on his back, pulling her against him tightly. He rested his had on her stomach, tracing caressing circles on her rounded belly. He felt their baby kicking and smiled, the baby had only started kicking a few days ago. He smiled and reached down to kiss her.

She laughed, "funny how, Mr Potter, you're getting married to another in a few hours and yet you're in my bed at the moment."

"Yeah," he smiled. "I love you, Lil."

She grinned, "I love you too, James."

They lay together in silence, feeling their child move restlessly inside Lily. As the morning wore on, they showered together, and then dressed.

"Well," James said. "I'll see you at the wedding."

She smiled softly at him, "I'll miss you until later."

He kissed her softly on the lips, before securing a small box in his jacket pocket. "See you later, love."

She blew a kiss to him as he left the apartment, watching him apparate away.

* * *

"Morning, Prongs," Sirius said, crunching up the gravel path of the church. "You all ready?"

"Yeah," James sighed. "I'm just praying Lily doesn't miss her cue."

"She won't, mate. She loves you and would never risk losing you," Sirius comforted him.

"Yeah," James nodded. "The gown's in the church rooms, as well as a note explaining to Lily what to do."

"She'll know, mate," Sirius promised.

They entered the church, to be met by Richard and Megan. They kissed their son on the cheek.

"All ready?" Richard asked.

"Yep," James smiled. Meg seemed to be bouncing with excitement.

He was excited and nervous at the same time. He would have Lily to himself at last, but he would also be breaking Stella's heart. He'd come so close to her in the past year.

"James?" Sirius asked.

"It's nothing," James said.

"Good," Sirius smiled.

They stood at the front of the as Lily entered. James strolled over to her.

"Hey," he greeted.

"Hello, Potter," she winked.

"Would you like to take a walk with me?" he asked.

She nodded softly. "How're you feeling?"

"Nervous," he replied, lowly.

They walked out to round the back of the church, where James began to attack her lips with ferocious kisses. He pushed her into the stone wall, his arms around her waist and his tongue winding into her mouth. The strokes were harsh, longing, lustful. She wound her fingers into his hair, desire scorching through her body.

"James…" she breathed. "Not here."

He looked at her, and then grabbed her arm, dragging her into the adjoining building. There he found a toilet and pushed her into there, locking the door behind them.

His lips came crashing down on hers once again. They kissed harshly, passion overcoming them. He ripped her dress from her steamy body as his kisses deepened. Soon his jacket and shirt lay on the floor as she ran her hands over his bare chest. He moaned in delight, Lily made him feel so _alive_. She tightened her arms around his neck, returning his kisses avidly. His tongue stroked hers, his lips warm, burning. He nibbled at her silky flesh and she whimpered. He gazed at her lacy underwear, as she pulled off his trousers. They were soon undressed and moving together, fervently.

They're session of love-making ended and they pulled their clothes on, thanking Merlin for anti-creasing charms.

"Well, I suppose you better at least make a show for your fiancée," Lily smiled.

"Yeah, I suppose," James sighed. He kissed her once again, taking her hand in his. "I'll see you later," he said, pulling away from her. "By the way, you look stunning in that dress."

"Thanks, you look charming yourself too!" she smiled, "bye." She watched his figure retreating before looking down at his finger, upon which now stood a sparkling diamond ring. She gasped, had James just got engaged to her? She laughed loudly, with happiness. She was engaged, to James Potter. She, Lily Evans, was engaged to James Potter.

* * *

**Sorry it's short! But I think it's quite cute!!! **

**Please review!  
Love JLF xoxo**


	9. Chapter 8: 'Is This True'

**Fragile Heart**

**Chapter 8**

"**Is This True?" **

"We are gathered here today to witness the marriage of James Potter to Stella Thompson," the elderly priest said.

Stella gazed at James, her eyes shining as she held his hand in a tight clap. There was moisture shining on her tanned cheeks and she was fanning her face with her other hand. There was an excited smile on her face, one that James could not duplicate. He wasn't excited; he wasn't even getting married to her. Not really.

James shared a glance with Sirius, his best man. Sirius knew of Lily and their pending parenthood. Sirius laughed, seeing James was obviously bored with the priest's speech. 'Just say the line, ask the question' James thought. Then he could end this ridiculous, false engagement and be with Lily, as his one and only. They could be together at last.

He could see her sitting with Remus, Frank, Alice and Peter, behind his parents. There was a slight bulge in both Lily and Alice's bellies. He smiled softly to himself, knowing that the child was his. He began to wonder if the baby was to be a boy or a girl. He, of course, didn't care which as long as the child was healthy, and preferably inherited Lily's stunning eyes.

He could see Lily glancing over the diamond sitting securely on her finger. He smiled, his fiancée, his lover, his partner and his soon to be wife.

Stella mistook it for a smile of anticipation, for she squeezed his hand more tightly in his.

He sighed, she did look pretty in her wedding dress, but it was just too much. He had a much nicer dress for Lily in the church rooms. Stella's dress was full, long and white with black embroidery around the edges. It curved out at her hips and was made of a shiny silk. She had a string of black beads strung around her neck and another set around her wrist. Her dark curls were running down her back. She looked pretty. But she wasn't Lily. He knew why he had been interested, but she just couldn't compete with the girl James loved. James occupied himself with thoughts of him and his love's past.

* * *

"_Evans," he began, "one day I'm going to marry you."  
"Am I supposed to find that romantic?" she asked, looking up from her text book._

"_I thought maybe…" he began, ruffling his hair. _

"_Well you thought wrong," she pushed a lock of hair behind her ear and returned to her book. _

"_Oh, come on, Evans, all girls like a romantic guy!" he exclaimed._

"_Well I'm not all girls," she replied, not looking up. _

_His eyes widened in shock as a thought came to him. "You do like men, don't you, Evans?"_

_She looked up, her innocent green eyes glowing in astonishment. "I might as well not, all the chance you have. But for the record, yes, I do happen to like men. Just not you."_

_He nodded, sighing deeply as he considered a way to continue the conversation. _

_She scribbled another note on her essay. _

"_Evans?"_

"_Hmm…" she said, chewing thoughtfully on the end of her quill. _

"_You know I fancy you, right?" he said quietly. _

"_Yeah, I do, actually, as does the rest of the school, including the teachers," she said. _

"_What!? Do they really?" he asked. _

"_Yes, it's fairly obvious." She said. _

"_Well, I really mean it, when I say I fancy you… and I do __**really **__want to marry you," he said softly. _

_Lily looked at him, as if wondering whether she had heard him correctly. "Umm…" she said. _

"_I think I'm going to kiss you now, Evans," he said lowly. _

"_I wouldn't, Potter," she warned. _

"_Too late," he said, leaning into her closely and pressing a soft, chaste kiss to her cushiony lips. _

_Lily looked at his clearly satisfied features in disbelief. "Potter," she said in a dangerously silent voice. He replied with a grin. "I'd start running now."_

"_Now, now, Evans, I can't go running from the love of my life," he teased, chuckling lightly. _

_She turned and smacked him on the cheek. James watched her storm off._

"_Thanks Evans," he yelled. He was still grinning cheerfully, after all one of Lily Evans' kisses was well worth one of her slaps.

* * *

_

Stella was grinning at him, excitedly. Her hand quivering in his. Love and need shone in her eyes. She wanted him, loved him, needed him. Sadly, that wasn't something he could give her.

She let out a giggle, pulling their hands tightly into her chest, her thumb caressing his palm. She pushed a lock of dark hair out of her eyes with her free hand and tightened her clasp on his hand. She watched his hazel eyes, as the priest continued his speech. James had to suppress the urge to yawn.

Finally the elderly man next to him stopped for breath.

"Firstly, I am required to ask anyone present who knows a reason why these persons may not lawfully marry, to declare it now, or forever hold your peace." He said, gazing dully at the audience gathered, no-one ever said anything at this point. He was in for a shock.

James glanced from Lily to Sirius, Lily returned her lover's gaze before turning to look at Alice. James nodded in a suppressed manner.

Lily paused for breath before saying, "I do."

James could have laughed; it was a completely ironic thing for Lily to say while breaking up his wedding. He however stayed silent.

Stella turned to look around, her eyes scanning for the source of the noise. Her eyes fell on Lily. She frowned sure that her ears deceived her.

"Please, do enlighten us, Miss…" the priest said.

"Miss Evans, Lily Evans," Lily said. She stood and the whole of the congregation turned to look at her.

The priest nodded slightly, asking her to continue. She glanced at James for strength for the task ahead. He smiled softly at her, the words he had told her to say flashing through his mind. He ran them over as Lily spoke them out-loud:

"I… I love him; we've been sleeping together for the past three months." She paused, tears ambushing her face. "I'm pregnant with his child."

Stella looked from him to Lily, her eyes distraught. "James," she demanded, "is this true?"

James' Dad stood, while supporting James' mother, who was obviously crying with embarrassment. She was not impressed that her son had been cheating on a perfectly suitable marriage partner. It made James wonder whether he had been marrying her for her status, because his parents would like it.

"Yes, _is_ this true, son?" Richard asked.

James lowered his eyes from the people he loved, his gaze once again falling on Lily. His girl, the love of his life. The tears were streaking down her face.

"I love you," he mouthed. She smiled softly, as he strode down the church. He pulled her into his arms and gazed confidently over the church.

"Yes, it's true," he admitted. "I love her too, and we're going to start a family, together."

There was an instant uproar at the disgrace. James watched his family and Stella's rising in anger. He held Lily tightly against him, before slowly raising his eyes to look at _her_.

Stella's eyes were lined with tears. "So this is, was, all a lie?"

"It wasn't, but I can't pretend I still feel the same way I did when I proposed to you," he said truthfully. He loosened his grip on Lily and moved over to where Stella was.

He placed his hands on her shoulders, she quickly shrugged them off.

"I guess this is goodbye then," she said. "It was obviously never meant to be."

"I'm sorry, Stel," James said, "I never wanted it to be like this."

She looked at him tears streaking down her face, before placing her face in her hands and retreating down the length of the church. She paused to look at Lily in disgust, before fleeing out the door.

"I'm sorry," James breathed to himself.

* * *

**Reviews please: )**


	10. Chapter 9: Beginnings

**Fragile Heart**

**Chapter 9**

**Beginnings**

She listened to the murmured whispers of revolt from the two families. She felt like crying, why did James have to face this? He didn't deserve it. She walked over to him. They could face this together. She placed her hand on his arm and kissed his clean-shaven cheek. He ruffled his hair in annoyance. Lily smiled weakly to herself, wondering if he would ever overcome this habit. James turned to return the kiss. She pulled him closer, as the need for comfort became overwhelming. He stroked her hair softly, and placed another kiss in the crown of her head.

"Sirius," he called out.

The other man came forward, "Prongs?"  
"Take Lily out to the hall," he said in a commanding tone. He didn't look at her.

Sirius nodded lightly, moving towards her. He took her arm and attempted to steer her away. Lily fought back; she didn't want James to face this on his own. They were in this together, after all. Besides, she still needed him with her; she couldn't stand the thought of her lover turning her away, when they both needed each other so much.

"James," she cried softly.

He still didn't look at her, "Lily, go…" he said sharply.

"James?" she asked. Had she asked too much of him? All she'd wanted was to be with him. He had wanted it too. They couldn't have continued if Stella and James had got married.

"GO!" he snapped at her.

She looked at him timidly, "J-James?" she asked.

"Please Lily," he said, tiredly.

Sirius tugged at her arm again. She looked at James and buried herself deeper into his arms. "I love you," she whispered and reached up to kiss him.

"I love you too," he breathed, giving her a reassuring kiss on the lips. "Now go."

She looked at him deeply, once again, before nodding in resignation. She stepped slowly out of the warmth of his arms, watching as he strode down the church to continue his explanation. He looked guilty and weary at the same time. She watched him briefly before allowing Sirius to lead her away. Stella's family began to leave, and Alice followed Sirius and Lily.

Sirius led her past the large church halls and into a small side room. He slowly unlocked the door and led her in. the door gave a slight creak behind her as she entered the small room.

Inside, hanging on the back of a large oak wardrobe was a beautiful white wedding gown. It was embroidered with pearl and crystal beads. Bedside it was a note, written in James' careful font.

_My dearest Lily, _

_Sorry for the short notice, I hope it's a nice surprise. All the tickets are changed, just get yourself ready. There's a dress for Alice on the other side of the door. Sirius knows what to do. See you soon, my bride. _

_Love,_

_Your James. xxx_

Lily gasped as she read the note. "What's going on, Sirius?!" she asked.

"You and James are getting married, this afternoon," he smiled softly.

"Really?!" she grinned widely, grabbing Sirius and Alice in an embrace.

"Really," Sirius promised. "Get changed, both of you. I'll wait outside."

Lily slowly slid the dress on, watching Alice put on a pale blue bridesmaid dress. Alice helped her tie the white fastenings that laced up her back.

"You look beautiful," her best friend said, entwining white flowers into her fiery red hair.

"_Something old, something new  
Something borrowed, something blue  
And a silver sixpence in your shoe." _

Alice spoke the old rhyme.

"This necklace, I wore it at my wedding." She fastened a pendant of silver and gold around Lily's neck.

"Something old…"

"And the flowers in your hair…"  
"Something new."

Sirius waltzed back in, "your Grandmother's diamond charm bracelet."  
"Was not easy to convince your parents to lend it to us," Alice grinned.

"You'd better return it." he continued.

"Something borrowed."  
"What about blue?" Sirius asked, "We haven't covered that one."

"Oh, not to worry," Alice said, "I think James had that covered."

"Yeah," Lily agreed and blushed. "My lacy blue underwear."

"Hmmm…" Sirius said.

"And a silver sickle in your shoe." Lily slowly lifted her foot and let the coin rest under her sole. She took a look in the small mirror at the back of the room. James knew her well. The dress was not over the top, it accented her strengths. The white brought her hair and eyes out in a similar way to how her skin did.

"Ready?" Sirius asked.

Lily nodded as Alice passed her the bouquet of roses and lilies, which had been left on the side.

Sirius led them back round to the outside of the church, where Lily found her parents waiting. It made her realise that she really was about to get married.

"Lily," her mother cried, "what's going on?"

"Mum!" Lily rushed into her embrace. "Dad!" she turned to hug him.

"What's going on?" David asked. "This dress?"

"Mr, Mrs Evans, I'm Sirius Black," he said, stepping forward. "My best mate is in love with Lily and a couple of weeks ago he decided to throw her a secret wedding today. Um… that's why we've been so secretive, we didn't want Lily catching wind of what was happening."

"You're getting married?" Mrs Evans asked.

"Yeah," Lily said.

"And you found this out…when?"

"About ten minutes ago, actually."

"And you're okay about this?" David asked.

"Ecstatic," Lily grinned.

"Alright, then?" Sirius asked.

Lily nodded, "I'm ready."

"Well, I'd better go and join James," he said.

She watched him striding down the church, before grasping her father's arm. The music started up and Lily walked down the isle. She felt like she was gliding along the church's solid floor and grinned as her heels clattered.

Her father placed her hand in James' as she turned her face upwards to look in his glimmering eyes. They were golden, filled with unmistakeable love and lust. She gripped his hand tighter as the priest began the service for the second time that day.

* * *

"James, the baby is kicking again," she breathed into his ear.

He smiled, placing a hand above the silk of the wedding dress that reached across her stomach. He felt the gentle movements of the child. _Their_ child.

"I love you," he said, kissing the crown of her head.

"I love you too," came her whispered reply.

The wedding had gone smoothly, James' parents quickly warming to their son's lover and their pending parenthood. The after dinner speeches had come and gone, the cake cut and the first dance preformed. All that was left was for the young couple to advance to their wedding night. They looked to this with great anticipation, and as the clock struck eleven-thirty, the guests stood to wave them goodbye.

James had hired a carriage with graceful Granian winged-horses to draw it. He gave Lily a hand up as she sat next to him.

They gently set off into the cool summer's night, huddled together and gazing up at the velvety sky which was encrusted with diamond stars. He placed a loose lock of hair behind her ear, creating a beautiful contrast between the red of her hair and her creamy skin.

He smiled softly to himself, knowing that this was a beautiful beginning of their new life together. A life filled with hope, a life filled with happiness, a life filled with joy, friends, family and tragedy. But above all, a life filled with love.


	11. Epilogue

**Fragile Heart**

**Epilogue**

She sat back, her wrist resting on the table where a bowl of porridge lay. The boy in front of her gurgled, reaching out for the food. Lily gave him another spoonful as James bit into his toast. She smiled at her husband lightly. James blew a kiss to both her and the boy. Lily made a big deal of catching the kiss from across the table and then planting it on their child's cheek.

Lily had gone into labour at around midnight on the thirtieth of June and their son had been born in the early hours of the following morning. Harry James Potter was two days younger than Alice and Frank's son, Neville. He had inherited his father's build and hair; the only obvious feature from his mother was her green, almond shape eyes. He was sweet, with his mother's personality. Both her fairness, strictness and also her harsh temper.

The other Marauders loved the boy too. Sirius was the boy's godfather. Remus and Peter loved spending time with him too. He was a light in the continuing war for his entire family.

It was later that day that Lily had gone to bathe Harry and James was sitting in the living room. There was a tapping on the glass of the window. He strode over and opened it to a large, auburn-brown owl. He gently untied the letter and parcel, before watching it fly off. He opened the letter, placed the parcel beneath the letter and sat on one sofa to read it.

_Dear James,_

_I am not writing to suggest a secret rendezvous or to lure you away from your wife. I write to hope you and your family are well, and to send you a present. I wish you to give this to your son, so that he knows there was another woman that loved him before he married his mother. _

_Life is so much simpler since the fateful day when your true feelings for Lily came to light. Even now that day brings tears to my eyes. But I know I must be brave. I was bitter for so long afterwards but I eventually moved on. I realised you deserved to be happy, and I now know I could never give you that. I know she is good for you, and though I wish I had known before, I do not regret or resent what has happened between you, me and Lily. Though even now, my sister suggests that I should not even try to contact you. My family are terribly cynical at what happened. Though perhaps it is just the over-protectiveness of relatives. _

_Once I'd moved on, I found new romance. I hope now that no secret lovers will appear in this relationship. I often have to wonder how things would be if we had married. If you had not met Lily years after or if she had not called out at the service? If you had not married her. _

_I don't ask you for answers of the events before the wedding day or that you even reply. All I ask is for you to pass this small gift onto your child. _

_With greatest love,_

_Your Stella. x x _

He sat well into the afternoon, wondering whether to reply. Even when he sat with his son and wife in the sitting room, he pondered this and her words in his mind.

Harry never got the present from his father's ex-fiancé. That Halloween a force that the Potters couldn't possibly contend with appeared. The present lay in the wreckage of the cottage in Godrics Hollow. Harry would not return to it for sixteen years, but then that's another story.


End file.
